Presenters Meeting: Psychos

[Neil Rigby]

Maybe it's because so many of the team are feeling ill - or maybe it's because we have just passed the half-way mark - but this morning's presenters meeting is definitely more subdued than usual. Even Kate, who is usually bursting with energy, is finding it difficult to get enthusiastic about the robins today. But Nigel the birdman refuses to be sucked in:

"Just because they're alive and flourishing" he insists, "does not mean they're boring."


He's right and everyone agrees that we have to remember the animals that don't deliver the emotional roller-coasters as well as those that do. Robins should definitely go in as tonight's show has plenty of drama in the form of hungry kestrel chicks, rapidly disappearing lapwings, terrible housekeeping from our greenfinches, and the tragic plight of our little ringed plover chicks - the reason, it seems, why Kate isn't quite as bright and bubbly as usual.

"I don't know why but I couldn't get to sleep last night so spent a lot of time thinking about those poor chicks being pecked by the adult male and wondering how we could best tell the story. And then I had the idea of a montage in which -"

"- we have the sound effects from Psycho," interrupts Chris.

Kate looks stunned.

"How did you know that was what I was thinking?"

"Because I was in the room next to yours last night," says Chris, "doing the sound effects from Psycho."

Everyone laughs but I notice that the two people seated next to him move their seats just a little further away as the conversation turns to bumble bees.

Chris puts his hand up.

"I am the president."

People move even further away. Chris is obviously delusional, eats nettles for fun, and we are trapped in a Portacabin with him.

"Of course you are," says today's producer, trying to appease him.

"No, I am. I am the President of the Bumblebee Conservation Trust," he says, and it turns out that he actually is, prompting everyone to breathe a quiet sigh of relief. Well, almost everyone. The executive producer complains that he can't go anywhere without seeing the faces of the presenters.

"You're telling me," says Kate. "I once got a text from a friend saying "I'm in a loo in Arundel and so are you."" This means that either Kate's friend was reading a paper which had a picture of Kate in it, or she really was in a loo with Kate but preferred to text her mundanities than vocalise them. Or both...

Gold star to Chris today for being a real live president of something... and not just thinking he is..



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